Awkward
by dramaq
Summary: The awkward occurances of Light preparing for bed on his first night handcuffed to L. Thankyou to my friend, Sami, for the idea!


I would have liked to say that the first thoughts that crossed my mind as the cool metal of the handcuff was locked around my wrist were that of outrage and disgust. However, a simple thought ran through my head as I glared at my newly restricted wrist: _Going to the bathroom will be awkward, won't it?_ Yes, the incredibly intelligent and utterly perfect Light Yagami was more concerned about menial things like the mechanics of relieving himself than the fact that he was being held captive like a criminal and was stripped of his right to privacy. I shuddered at my average thoughts and returned to work with a newfound vigor.

That night- or should I say morning- as L led me up to his- to _our_ room, my heart rate quickened. Was I really panicking about getting ready for bed? Once in the room, L paused, looking me over with cold, calculating eyes.

"Yagami-kun, I presume you have a different outfit for sleepwear?"

"Yes."

L glanced at the dangling chain. "Well, this could be an issue."

I was fully aware that my mouth had popped open. I was also fully aware that I had no power to wipe the ridiculous expression of shock off my face. L's head lolled to the side, examining my strange expression. "I agree, Yagami-kun, it is a rare occurrence that I overlooked this dilemma. However I have a solution."

I finally regained usage of my facial muscles. "What is it?"

"I will unlock the handcuffs, and carefully examine you while you undress."

Once again, my facial expression was out of my control. I supposed I must look similar to a fish. Nevertheless, that did not excuse the amused glint in L's eyes. If I hadn't been in a state of shock, my fist would most certainly have become acquainted with his face.

"N-no! That's perverted!"

"If I am not always monitoring you, there is no point to the handcuffs."

"How would I kill people while changing?"

"There is a 0.00004% chance that Kira kills while changing clothes."

"You just make up percentages to serve your purposes, don't you?"

"Your accusations are false. I calculate with accuracy and truthfulness."

"Well, there's a 0.000002% chance that Matsuda kills people while changing. Are you going to watch him?"

"You made that percentage up. The percentage that Matsuda has killed at all is 0.0000000000000000001%."

"Why you-" I lifted my fist.

"When you lose a battle of intellect, resorting to violence will only make you appear dumber. Undress."

I growled as I swiftly changed into my night clothes, trying to reveal as little skin as possible.

L nodded in approval. "Do you need to use the restroom, Light-kun?" L clearly thought that seeing me half naked gave him the right to refer to me as 'Light-kun.' I was irritated, but did not object, as I had more pressing issues occupying my mind. My bladder was, in fact, demanding relief. I hadn't gone all day in dread of a moment such as this. If L needed to study me while I changed…

"Yes."

"Come." L led me to the bathroom. He looked at me expectantly. "Proceed."

"Uh, Ryuuzaki? Can you turn around or something?"

L shook his head. "Do we need to repeat the conversation we had about dressing? Really, Light-kun, I thought you of all people wouldn't be self conscious."

I brushed off the sting. "I was merely insinuating that the probability of me killing people while- while _peeing_ is considerably lower than while dressing."

"What gave you that idea?"

"Who kills while peeing?" I exclaimed.

"There is a 0.5% chance that Kira does."

I gasped. "That high?" L nodded solemnly. "Why?"

"I will not reveal my methods to a potential Kira!"

"Alright…" I resigned.

I couldn't help the blush that invaded my cheeks as L examined _every_ part of me while I did my business.

As I lay in bed, struggling to fall asleep next to the cursed insomniac who was diligently studying his glowing laptop, I couldn't help but wish I was still in confinement. Awkwardness was worse than any torture I had known.


End file.
